I'm currently in a state where two autumns ago, or even one year ago in autumn, my body would suddenly welcome anxiety and panic attacks. One or two autumns ago, I wouldn't have been ready to study abroad. I wouldn't have been comfortable enough with myself. I wouldn't have had the confidence in knowing that I can succeed in difficult classes. I wouldn't have had so much experience with drinking and going out, and thus would go a little too hard here.
I needed experience to have this experience that I'm having now. I needed to grow at my home uni in order to appreciate this one without my anxiety taking its merciless toll on my tear ducts, lungs, and mind.
So, right now, while I'm meeting new people every day in a more or less superficial way, and don't know exactly who my close friends will be, and don't know if I'll stay with the Americans (as none of us should), and don't want to miss my chance at meeting great people, my mind is still at peace. It battles the anxious thoughts that slip in. It keeps calm, and carries on.
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