My last post was a bit self righteous, though it touched on my worries a bit. It's now the morning after that last post, and to be honest I've had butterflies waking up here every morning so far. They go away shortly thereafter, but in the first few moments when I wake up in my single, when all is still, and the majority of my village is still recovering from last night's craziness, I find that I feel homesick and alone. I don't have roommates in my bedroom, I don't yet have a certain group of friends I know I can trust or rely on. It's just me and the people I've met so far, but even still they may move on to new friends or people, and I'm really left to myself. I do like the students living in my house with me, but they'll all be here for at least a year, so I'm worried they won't want to by my friend for long. I'm also having a hard time taking advantage of the sleeping time I have here. So far there's been so much time to sleep, yet I wake up with far too many thoughts in my head and the desire to go to the bathroom right away (lol).
These are all normal, expected worries. It seems as though writing them out does help me a bit, but at the same time I feel guilty for "blogging" (even though no one has a link to my blog lol), because I don't want it to seem as though I'm doing this merely for recording purposes or sharing purposes. I'm not, it just really helps me to write out my thoughts, because thoughts and observations come into my head so often and I feel like I should write them out or else they get trapped in my head and make the butterflies in my stomach come back and fight to get out.
Ok. All is well. Breathe. Go outside and exercise. Walk to Canterbury. Hit up a friend you just met and go with them. All is well.
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